New Zealand - A Call onto the Marae - by Daniel Reid
New Zealand - A call onto the Marae
By Daniel Reid
New Zealand was our first big trip together. Now in our forties, we had never been permitted the luxury of travel while we were young (er). All our twenty-something friends in the eighties had travelled the globe: Europe, South East Asia, North Africa, and the Middle East (a time when it was cool and relatively safe to work on a kibbutz). But we had children in diapers with runny noses and sweet milk breath. We watched our friends leave one by one, returning with stories and the ‘high’ of travel, while we tended to vomit on our shirts and bruises and scrapes.
The intention of our trip to New Zealand was a family reunion. Unfortunately our children couldn't come due to jobs and school. We travelled from Auckland to Whakatane (about three hours south of Auckland) for linguistic lessons— “the long drop” (outhouse), a "handle" (mug of beer) and snickers over our use of “Saran Wrap”— we then moved on to the Marae for a family gathering.
The Marae is a traditional Maori meeting place for funerals, weddings or other family outings. Protocol states you can’t just walk on to the Marae, you must be called upon. As we were waiting, my knees started to shake as I kicked myself for not finishing that book on Maori customs (you’d think an older traveller might be less fearful and more diligent). I started to calm down, knowing my wife was near. But as I looked to my left, I realized she was gone, pushed to the front of the procession for a special welcome. I was just about to turn and run back to Canada when the cousins and uncles arrived to rescue me, “Just follow us,” they said, smiling. On we went, no problems.
The first night set the family (whanau - pronounced fah no) tone. Everybody sleeps together in the whare runanga (a longhouse type of structure) - along with burps, snores and other loud bodily functions. You feel very close to your family, which is the point. While we were snuggled under the rocking nasal roof, my wife gave me some excellent advice, “Don’t stand on the sidelines. Take part.” And this was key for me. I made sure I cut, chopped, rolled, served and cleaned at every given opportunity. I did everything except sing; good thing because there were so many beautiful voices and songs on the Marae. I even took part in testing live wiggling kinna (sea urchin).
I only made one repeated major faux pas with one poor soul. When Maori males meet, it’s customary to rub noses. This means foreheads should lightly touch. I was, however, a little too rough and instead of a gentle rub, I continually greeted him with a head butt. We butted heads more than a few times. By the end of the reunion, my now flat-headed friend just stuck his hand out and said with a smile, “Let’s shake hands.”
We left the Marae tired and teary, but with pages of email addresses and potential house guests. I felt part of a very large Maori family, an importance I may have dismissed in my twenties without experience as a father, uncle, and cousin.
We later moved on to great food, wine, and crisp sheets, but the stay on the Marae was the focal point of our trip, as it should be since I now have three million rellies.
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Daniel's New Zealand tips:
Maraes are not open to the public. You can't just walk on. You must be called. But there are many throughout New Zealand (more on the North Island). My advice is to go into town and meet some Maori people. They are more than willing to share their wonderful culture. If you are in luck, there might be a wedding or reunion. And they have plenty of reunions.
A useful link http://www.korero.maori.nz/forlearners/protocols/marae.html
Bio: Daniel Reid is a writer, reader and runner living in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. And when he's not freezing through a harsh prairie winter, he's inspiring new Canadians at small but prominent university in Calgary. Daniel has a degree in English Literature from Simon Fraser University in Burnaby, B.C., Canada. He is currently working on a writing project, but not sure what form it'll take. He is still on a quest to run the planet.
You can also check out his blog... a nasty bag of rantings.
Daniel’s local recommendation was for Bottlescrew Bill's in his home town – a great spot to sample prairie oysters during the Calgary Stampede.